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Week 48276 of lockdown. You’re living the single life, in social quarantine. The height of your Saturday Night Fever is probably a chaotic Zoom quiz, during which at least one person starts to doze off. It’s a struggle to achieve the same social excitement we all had once upon a time; piling into a taxi with your driver, Eugene, who inevitably becomes your new best friend and bids you farewell as you go off into the night to drink three too-many espresso martinis.
Much like your social life, your sex life is perhaps lacking it’s previous spontaneity. Where a Tinder date held many possibilities, now your sexual opportunities dwell in your bedside cabinet. In such an unpredictable time as this, it’s easy to rely on a quick-fix for stress release via your ye-olde faithful vibrator. Remember that episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte buys her first Classic Rabbit Vibrator, quickly becomes addicted to it and starts to reject invitations to leave her apartment until her friends choose to stage an intervention? Well, hello! It’s me, c’est moi! Your friend who has come to tear you away from your default solo-sex routine!
Dating in lockdown isn’t for everyone. The thought of a virtual date may appeal greatly to some, and may be someone else’s idea of hell. Whether you’re one or the other or somewhere inbetween, it’s important to dedicate some of this newfound free time to yours truly.
Four words: non-goal orientated masturbation. Yes, I know the goal is usually the best bit! I know we’re all chasing that big, delicious O, but hear me out. What if (a good suggestion always starts with a ‘what if’) through slowing down your self-pleasure and paying attention to new sensations, you could discover erogenous zones you weren’t aware of? I knew I’d get you on my side.
Now before we begin, we need to make sure the context is right. Our desire is responsive to context and therefore to obtain optimum pleasure, it’s a good idea to consider which factors have contributed to your most memorably positive sexual experiences. More simply, what turns you on and what switches you right off? It could be massage, a specific scent, an outfit or set of lingerie, your favourite wine, even a really good dinner. It’s different for everyone! An interesting exercise to do is to compile a list of your sexiest moments, so you are able to recognise which contexts you respond to with desire. Or maybe you find lists quite sexy and you’re able to kill two birds with one stone; efficient, I like it.
Excellent, we’ve set the scene and now we’re ready to begin our erotic body scan. Relax by taking some deep breaths, in and out. Trace one finger around your opposite palm slowly and gently, and after a minute or two begin to widen the movements. You’ll trace your forearm, to your shoulder, across your chest, and so on. If it feels particularly good in any place then focus on that spot, take this scan at your own pace and enjoy feeling your nervous system reawaken. To intensify this stimulation, it’s helpful to incorporate toys which are great for temperature play. Two which are perfect for the job are the Multi Coloured Glass Kaleigh Dildo and the Stainless Steel Njoy Fun Wand, as they can be kept in the fridge for a couple of hours before your hot date with yourself.
While developing and sticking to a routine may be key to retaining your sanity in lockdown, sometimes it’s good to break a pattern. Your self-pleasure has the potential to be the most thrilling part of your day, or week; the power is at your fingertips.
The intention is not to undermine or replace your fool-proof method of orgasm, it will remain a respected favourite, but rather to encourage stepping out of your comfort zone. Treat yourself and acknowledge how your body responds to certain sensations and maybe you’ll learn something new about yourself. As it seems that we’ll be in some form of lockdown for a while yet, it's crucial to keep the future in mind; exploring yourself now will make for better orgasms post quarantine.
Written by Emily King
You can read more from Emily at https://emzking.wixsite.com/mysite